I’ve been in this rut for a while now. Maybe even before I can remember. I’ve been pulling faces to fool those who barricaded me into this in the first place. See, I don’t need anyone else to make me feel important. I don’t need anyone else to make me feel love, I’ve just tricked myself into thinking so. Lately I’ve been cramming that advice down my own throat. Hopefully soon I will choke on it. I don’t need anyone. See, I’m always attracted to the shy and quiet in strength. Maybe because I’ve always shouted my weaknesses. Indirectly though. I will skillfully position myself in the shadows, then scream out my sorrows, only to be echoed all through out the mountains. I couldn’t keep track of how many people came to mourn with me. I would resist it, and hide under the floorboards. Only to peek my head out every once in a while to make sure everyone was still there, taking time out of their lives, to make sure I was alright. See I’m a fraud and I’m sincere. I’m determined and I’m unsure. I’m weak and I’m stronger than you will ever be. I need to be out, and doing something that I’m passionate about. Yea, under your feet I lay still contemplating where to go. Things would be easier if I had no where to go, and so, I would just go. With no intentions of stopping because there would be no resting place for my weather ridden bones and skin and I wouldn’t even remember where I had to begin. Everything would just be lost, in that fight. I’m thinking things need to change, I’m thinking things in my brain need to rearrange.